Remember how Alec Baldwin used a bunch of racial slurs against a New York Post photographer and threatened to choke one of their reporters to death?

Neither does he -- because apparently it never happened.

Earlier this week, the New York Post claimed he threatened its reporter Tara Palmieri by saying he wanted to choke her to death and that Baldwin also used racial epithets against NYP photographer G.N. Miller during the same incident.

We wondered why Palmieri looked so cheery while Jack Donaghy threatened to kill her and called her colleague a "crack dealer" and a "coon," and now it makes sense: She was probably inwardly rubbing her palms together and whispering, "I'm gonna gitchu sucka!" Or something.

TMZ obtained an audio recording of the exchange, and guess what? No racial slurs, and Baldwin didn't actually threaten to choke Palmieri to death. He actually told her, "I hope you choke to death."

Still not exactly a love note, but given the harassment he was dealing with at the time, it seems like a pretty fair dream for him to have (and also a possibly accidental reference to his '30 Rock' character, who once told Tina Fey's Liz Lemon that a single woman's greatest fear was choking to death in her apartment).

dad-to-be is pouring his energy into other things. After posting a link to the
report clearing himself of racial bias, Baldwin engaged in a little Twitter theater art to say he's probably leaving the site after reaching 10,000 microblogged messages.