Ann Coulter Targets the Evil See’s Candy in a Bitter Twitter Rampage
Ann Coulter, resident outspoken opinionated tool of the female persuasion, has found a new cause. She's going to take down an enemy in a big way this Christmas, and it’s about time someone had the guts to do it.
Ann's putting a stop to the evil, bah-humbug website shenanigans of See’s Candy.
Because – as any dieter would attest – See’s Candy is from the devil and is ruining everything that makes America great. So really, Ann Coulter is saving us from certain doom. Certain doom and having to enter an email address to order truffles.
The conservative skeletal harpy went on a Twitter rampage (that hasn’t quite fizzled out yet) over the functionality of the California-based candy store’s website on Thursday evening, thus proving she really hasn't found a good use of her free time now that the election's over.
As everyone knows, Christmas is about being able to quickly purchase and send an uber-personal gift like chocolates and include an uber-personal pre-printed card filled out by a computer. And if Ann Coulter can't do that then by God Christmas is ruined. RUINED.
In her Twitter rant, she maintains See’s Candy must be stopped for having a bad website.
See’s Candy must be stopped for not having “xmas” cards. Nevermind that they have an entire section of Christmas candy. If we can't have cards that say "xmas" then why have "xmas" at all? Besides, if it's not "xmas" it's just an "occasion."
See’s Candy must be stopped for asking people to enter their email addresses to make a purchase during the “busy xmas season.” Yes, we understand how hectic it is to pore over your thoughtful candy tin purchase on your iPad while drinking an over-priced Chianti. However did you manage to find time to tweet about your troubles?
But really, it’s Warren Buffet (whose company Berkshire Hathaway owns See's) who must be stopped. According to the Coultergeist, everything Buffet touches turns to mold - and he's not that good at web design. It’s his fault that Christmas is ruined.
And if people aren’t careful, he’ll buy all the candy stores and ruin their websites too.
It can’t possibly be Coulter who is ruining Christmas by going on a never ending Twitter rampage aimed at a candy factory full of little old ladies and candy elves trying to brighten the holidays with sweet goodness for everyone, can it?
And I think we can all agree that her use of the word “retard” here puts her at the top of the naughty list. As usual, she's klass personified.
Poor Ann. It's gonna be a long four years until 2016.