Ryan Anderson is a humorist and writer with a degree in journalism and philosophy that just sits in a box in his attic. You can read more of his musings here: http://www.twitter.com/kolchak
Ryan Anderson
Justin Bieber Has a Beer in South Africa, Says Nelson Mandela Is ‘The Man’ [PHOTO]
Justin Bieber is continuing his tour of the world, leaving nothing but a trail of destruction and un-tipped wait staff in his wake. Now he's in South Africa, where he can legally drink like an adult.
Take that, restrictive American consumption laws!
Hulk Hogan Wants His Sex Tape Erased from the Internet, Doesn’t Get How the Internet Works
Wrestling superstar and walking leather handbag Hulk Hogan is now attempting to purge the internet of that XXX video featuring him that leaked last year.
Maybe he should talk to Beyonce about the futility of online scrubs.
Kate Upton Covers Vogue + Addresses Her Body Critics [PHOTOS]
Kate Upton graces the June 2013 cover of Vogue -- just so you moms out there will know what to expect beneath your sons' beds this summer.
‘American Idol’ May Fire Every Judge It Has + Start Fresh Next Season
Mariah Carey might not be the only one out of a job at 'American Idol.' If one report is to be believed, the show plans on doing some serious housecleaning during which all four judges will be axed in an attempt to quell the program's bleeding ratings.
Betty Ford Wants Michael + Dina Lohan to Join Lindsay for ‘Family Treatment’
The Betty Ford Clinic, where Lindsay Lohan is undergoing her 90-day court-mandated rehab, wants to bring Michael and Dina Lohan together for a good ol' fashioned family trainwreck bonding session.
Charlie Brown Voice Actor Sentenced to a Year in the (Pig)Pen
Peter Robbins, who voiced Charlie Brown in all your favorite 'Peanuts' specials, has been sentenced to a year in jail for threatening an ex-girlfriend, stalking her plastic surgeon and forgetting the true meaning of Christmas.
Donald Trump Launches a New Site That’s Doing Something Other Sites Already Do
Donald Trump will more or less put his face on anything -- cufflinks, eyewear and even hunks of meat. But now he's lent himself to a new crowdfunding website, and has decided to give away "suitcases full of cash" to help spread the word.
Provided he doesn't bankrupt the company first, of course.
Tara Reid Doesn’t Care What You Think + May Be the Happiest Drunk Ever [VIDEO]
Tara Reid went out to experience the Los Angeles night life vodka on Tuesday, May 7, and had some trouble finding her way back to her car. Quelle surprise.
Among Celebrities, Americans Trust Tom Hanks Most + Kristen Stewart Least
Reader's Digest -- which still exists, apparently -- has released the results of its '100 Most Trusted People In America' poll, and Tom Hanks has been voted as the guy to whom Americans would most likely give their spare house key.
Simon Pegg, Leah Remini, Bill Gates + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (May 7) celebrities mourned the loss of Hollywood effects legend Ray Harryhausen, celebrated teachers, and obsessed over a murder trial.
‘Girls Gone Wild’ Creator Joe Francis Convicted of Assault for Going Wild on Three Women
Joe Francis, creator of 'Girls Gone Wild,' was convicted of assault and false imprisonment on Monday (May 6) for a 2011 incident in which he took three women back to his house under false pretenses and then attacked them for trying to leave.
Stop us when we get to something that surprises you.
James Deen Wants You to Get Off Farrah Abraham’s Back Already [VIDEO]
Porn stars need to stick together -- and not just literally.
XXX star James Deen has come out in defense of his 'Backdoor Teen Mom' co-star Farrah Abraham after social media sites exploded upon seeing the 21-year-old mother hide his salami in every which way possible.
‘Chelsea Lately’ Dance Crew Twerks to the Tan Mom Song [VIDEO]
The continuing horror show that is Patricia Krentcil -- better known as Tan Mom -- continued this week after she decided to inexplicably release a gut-wrenching rap song that sounds like Cthulhu's dying breath.
Ellen Page, Rashida Jones, Kelly Osbourne + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (May 6), celebrities discussed paranormal hair, got clumsy, fed your inspiration and became paranoid.
Farrah Abraham Doesn’t Want to Hear About That Porno She Orchestrated
Instead of rolling around in bath tubs full of hundred dollar bills after her almost $1 million dollar porn deal like a normal person, Farrah Abraham has been doing some tweeting. And you can tweet at her, too, so long as you don't mention the video.
Miley Cyrus Launched an Instagram Account + Might Have Blown Maxim’s Hot 100 Reveal [PHOTOS]
When a magazine like Maxim comes out with its annual "Hot 100" list, revealing who took the top spot is a pretty big deal. Maxim was planning to do that for its 2013 list on this Thursday's 'Today' show -- but Miley Cyrus, it seems, had other plans.