Kathy Landin

If you didn’t know any better and you saw the latest pic of Scarlett Johansson on the interwebs, you might think she'd just gotten out of prison and been branded by the meanest, blindest bitch on her cellblock with a new tat while she was there.

You would, however, be completely wrong.

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For some reason, whispers have always persisted that George Clooney is gay -- probably because he always has trophy girlfriends but never a trophy wife.

He doesn’t seem to care what anyone says or thinks, but apparently his sister is tired of all the talk. So she's trying to put the rumors to rest.

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It’s hard out there for a Jackson. First, they all had to grow up with a douche of a father. Then they all had to overcome the scars from that only to live in the limelight of a brother who was awesome and then completely lost his mind. Now, they have to deal with the bitter in-fighting in the aftermath of that brother’s tragic death.

Given all that, it’s not surprising that Jermaine has decided he can no longer be a Jackson. So of course he’s changing his name.

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Because life always imitates art, Charlie Sheen, star of FX’s ‘Anger Management,’ might be experiencing some anger management difficulties of his own.

Again.

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We had some time to read the tabs while we were waiting in line to buy grapes and brie this week and here’s what we learned from the National Enquirer, In Touch, the Star, Life & Style and Us Weekly.

Avoidi

Always on the lookout for ways to make a buck, Kim Kardashian will take bags and bags of money for promoting weight loss supplements and then launch a line of clothing for plus-sized women.

Because there’s no reason to stay on one side of the fence when there’s gold on both sides.

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Celebrities have a tendency to do everything dramatically -- right to the end. We all know the stories of celebs who've died in nasty car wrecks or thanks to tragic overdoses, disastrous on-set accidents and heartbreaking fan shootings, but it's the truly unusual ones that often get the most attention

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Britney Spears’ former manager -- hanger-on, whatever -- Sam Lufti has been on a rampage with a lawsuit against the singer and her family for various and sundry horrible things they supposedly did to him while he was her selfless loyal servant.

Finally, after all kinds of crying and gnashing of teeth on Lufti's part, one of the many intelligent and patient judges in Los Angeles told him to pick up his toys and go home -- and take his ridiculous lawsuit with him.

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Any sane know-it-all will tell you that trust is the foundation of a good relationship. But any Hollywood insider will tell you that pre-nups and hush-ups are what really keep the love alive.

Guess which route Jennifer Lopez is taking.

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The truth has come out: Justin Timberlake did not invite his former 'N Sync bandmates to his perfect Italian wedding to Jessica Biel. Not a single one of them. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Friends and family were the only guests at the small -- in size, not cost -- ceremony, so we can only assume the brotherhood of 'N Sync are neither.

Or maybe not.

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