Shauna Wright

Dog-owners have been putting their canine kids in costumes for years -- who among us hasn't seen a Dachshund dressed as a hot dog or a tiny little Chihuahua in a tutu? And yeah, they're cute and everything, but yawn. Whatever

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Congratulations, Ashton Kutcher, you're banging the hottest chick in the world -- at least according to Esquire magazine, which just named Mila Kunis the Sexiest Woman Alive.

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Everyone saw it coming, and now it seems to be true: Rihanna and Chris Brown are co-mingling bodily fluids again, and we're at a loss.

What do you get for the girl who has everything and just took her douchebag of an abusive boyfriend back?

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Lindsay Lohan is such a willing target that picking on her these days almost seems like kicking a puppy (if the puppy had terrible judgment and a lengthy rap sheet).

But according to her, the "bullying" she endures from the press isn't her first go-round with disparaging remarks -- she allegedly dealt with the same thing when she was younger, too.

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When faux punk-rocker Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger announced their engagement in August, the jokes flew fast and furious. Neither of these two are particularly well-respected in musical circles, so it almost seemed like they were taking one for the team by pairing up on their own.

But if you're excited about the upcoming nuptials, there's a T-shirt to say so publicly. Just make sure you can outrun any detractors.

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A while back, there were murmurings that some diva-licious sparring was already happening between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj on the set of 'American Idol.' At the time, the public was given a gentle pat on the head and told that no, none of those rumors were true so we should just run along and play because, really, Mommy and Daddy still loved each other so everything was fine just fine.

But now there's video evidence to the contrary. It's on, y'all. It. Is. ON.

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Get out your Celebrity Womb scorecards, kids, and mark Reese Witherspoon's uterus as "currently empty." The actress had her third child on Thursday, Sept. 27 -- a boy she named Tennessee James. Because all the good state names were already taken.

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In the biggest surprise since learning Santa Claus just might be mythical, chick-beater and member of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club Chris Brown failed a drug test -- a violation of his probation that could land him in the slammer.

But if that happens, it seems Rihanna would likely be among the list of people visiting him behind an inch of glass on Sundays.

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This badly-coiffed loudmouth/businessman once ironically said, "The worst thing a man can do is go bald. Never let yourself go bald."

Oh hi, Paris! Long time no see.

For the youngsters out there, Paris Hilton was the first rich bored socialite to achieve celebrity stardom via sex tape, but maybe you've never heard of her because she's been largely forgotten ever since something shinier and more Kardashian-ier came along.

Now everyone's paying attention anew, because Paris was caught on tape saying mindbogglingly ignorant things about gay men -- a group to whom she owes a good chunk of her "fame."

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