Britney Spears may soon be able to add "author" to her resume, because she's currently in talks to write her first novel. Just imagine her future book joining the shelves beside literary greats like Jane Austen, James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker and Henry James.

Now imagine all those authors screaming in horror from the Great Beyond.

Of course, "write" is a relative term. Writing in the celebrity world generally means telling a ghost-writer what you want your book to be about and then they toddle off and write it for you. Then it gets published under your name despite a complete lack of creative input.

All the accolades, none of the work. Yay, celebrity publishing.

The book will most likely be semi-autobiographical, inserting real facets of Spears' life into a fictional world. For example, her heroine Spitney Brears might escape her Southern lifestyle, become a pop star, have several public breakdowns and refuse to wear shoes in gas station restrooms.

If the deal goes through as planned, Spears will join the ranks of other celeb literati like Hilary Duff, Tyra Banks, Lauren Conrad and Snooki -- a venerable "who's who" of people who didn't earn the title "author."

Celebrity writers: devaluing the world of publishing since forever.

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