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One Question About Junior Mints Peppermint Crunch: Why?

Earlier today, me and Jon were craving chocolate. Well, you see it’s not really our fault. We’re like Pavlov’s dogs. There’s a ‘Secret Santa’ at our office who every day is filling our individual stockings on the station Christmas tree (yes, I said, Christmas tree) with treats. So far this week, we had some Milky Way bars, 3 Musketeers and Reese’s.

When we finished the Moose Morning Show, we went to check our stockings. No candy!! There was a pencil, I think! My mind went blank at that point, after realizing there was no chocolate. We actually checked others’ stockings to make sure it wasn’t just us being stiffed.

No luck! We retreated to the studio, but Jon wouldn’t give up. He went asking around if anybody had any chocolate. Score! Jon retreated from the front office where he was handed a box of candy. I could sense his excitement as he rushed back to greet me with those magical words, “I have some Junior Mints!”

Let me just say, “I love Junior Mints” or since the classic ‘Seinfeld’ episode, I call them THE Junior Mints. What’s not to adore? Just think about all that enticing rich dark chocolate covering a sweet mouth watering mint center. “They’re refreshing!”

So imagine my surprise when I extended my hand, anxiously awaiting the pouring of the savory morsels… and then I see THE BOX! No, it was not the classic white container with green lettering and the pictures of the inviting delicate drops of deliciousness. In front of me was this travesty of the so-called tasty treats.

“These weren’t Junior Mints, Nooooooo, they were Junior Mints Peppermint Crunch!”

I can see it now, some high and mighty ‘consultant’ sitting in a board room with a bunch of big wigs, saying, “Hey, it’s Christmastime, let’s make a ‘special holiday edition’ and crumble up candy canes and mix them with the original. The unknowing simpleton general public will actually think we’re giving them something better and festive. Ah HA-HA-HA-HA.” They probably then cheered and patted each other on the back and went out for a stupid pumpkin latte!

By the way, as Jonny was shoveling them in his mouth, I refused to partake. I am a man of morals. I will not cheat on my scrumptious savory snack.

Do not give in to this titillating temptation of corporate America.

Have a very merry original Junior Mint Christmas!

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