YOU: You're the ever-nerdy yet still desirable artsy/moody type we all love to take home to mother. Unlike the rest of us, you’re too good for mainstream entertainment so we don’t get to see you in a lot of shows or movies (except for that super hot voice of yours in every last animated ‘Madagascar’ incarnation). I like you even with all the product in your hair.

ME: Speaking of hair, mine is more famous than you'll ever be -- but it’s not quite as famous as my imaginary baby bump, which shows up every full moon. I just got engaged, but that doesn’t mean the tabloids will stop telling everyone I'm still in love with my ex or that I'm sticking pins in his fiancee's voodoo doll.

Let’s go ahead and have one of the most deliciously conflicted on-again-off-again love affairs in television sitcom history. But remember that even though we may end up on a break, that doesn’t mean you can sleep with anybody.