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Something’s Gone Terribly Awry; Jon James More Interested in Home Improvements Than Shopping for Guns and Ammo!

Garage door opener
My new garage door hardware

I don’t know where it all went off the tracks. Just a month ago, I was taking spontaneous trips to Cabela’s and KTP in search of elusive hand gun models and ammo to feed them (I love to shoot paper!) Suddenly, I find myself sitting on my deck with my wife saying, “we should expand the deck, take down some trees, extend the lawn and get some garage door openers installed.” I’m worried! That’s not me!

If I’m not in the boat or pool or shooting at paper targets in a sandpit somewhere, I want to be in my new La-Z-Boy (From Fortin’s Home Furnishings) watching a chick flick and sipping a Shipyard or some such beverage. But, instead, I find myself having fantasies of big groups of people on my deck, a riding mower for my lawn and the ability to open my garage door when I’m getting close to home because, God forbid, I have to leave the confines of my Jeep and lift that heavy aluminum door.

The builder of my home, Paul Cowing (Cupcake, if you will), is camped out here for the week working on some of those strange fantasies I’m having. My biggest fear in all of this is….and I hate to even say it out loud….is…..I’m growing up. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I never wanted that to happen!! I’ve made a career out of being a 16-year-old…granted, a 16-year-old girl, but still, a 16-year-old. I fear this may be coming to an end unless I get some help real fast. Unfortunately, it can’t come fast enough for me not to spend a bunch of money but, perhaps, as soon as said improvements are complete, I can regress back to my former self. Right now, I’m acting too much like a grown-up for my own liking. Trust me, I can make it stop. Just give me a couple of weeks.

Addendum: Paul Cowing of Palermo is a top notch, A+++ carpenter who can do anything. I HIGHLY recommend him (if you can find him at a down time). I go to NOBODY else for carpentry (I can’t build a freakin’ Popsicle stick birdhouse). Oh, if you want to know where the nickname “Cupcake” came from, I’ll let you ask him!

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