- No one wants to buy Pippa Middleton's useless party-planning book of uselessness. [Celebitchy]

- Courtney Stodden isn't even good enough to dance around on a pole for the gays. [Amy Grindhouse]

- Lady Gaga is rapping now and really shouldn't. [PopCrush]

- Kid Rock joins humanity, decides he wants to punch Simon Cowell. [SeriouslyOMG]

- Someone was paid to dress up Kristen Stewart like an extra from 'Spaceballs.' [The Superficial]

- Ashley Greene outdoes KStew's granny panties with her own tragic see-through outfit. [IDLYITW]

- 'Breaking Dawn - Part 2' opens tonight. WE'RE ALMOST FREE, YOU GUYS. [Hypable]

- Ryan Lochte's best wing-man is his dog. Also, he wants you to look at his penis. [Dlisted]

- Wedding bells are ringing on '30 Rock.' How do we swing an invite? [ScreenCrush]

- Jessica Lange will return to 'American Horror Story' because why not. [Rickey]