19 years old

This is a bit of a diary entry.

Coming up in less than a month is our trip to Halifax and Edmundston. As I’ve mentioned a couple of times, Halifax is where I grew up. I love the city but going “home” is always bittersweet. I love seeing Mom and the friends who have time, but at the same time it’s kind of sad.

It’s a weird time whenever we go up because I love to show Lynn all of the spots that meant something to me. For example my old schools, workplaces, hangouts but Lynn wasn’t there. I want to share these moments with her and I don’t want to delete my past, but it’s tough. I can’t do the “remember whens” while we’re there. Lynn has met a few of my friends, but again when we talk about the old times, it’s not the same.

Curtis, a childhood friend will reference funny little events both irreverent and not from the 80s and early 90s but again, Lynn has no idea what we’re talking about. She does put up with it and smiles accordingly.  

The other thing about going home that makes me melancholy is all of the places that meant something to me are either revamped or bulldozed all together. I will say, when I went home the first time back in 1996 my etchings on my high school's “generator” were still there. One read “I wuz here, 04/17/’88.” There was another with a heart with my initials and a girlfriend at the time which included the obligatory TLA. Well, you get the idea, not easy to take.

Anyway I have a very loving wife who will live through all of the talk regarding the nostalgic rites of passage even though she was never there.

Part of me wishes she was a part of my life when I was young. So she could enjoy the stories and feel included. Then again if she were around when I was coming of age, Lynn would have been too young, as a middle school or junior high school student and we probably wouldn't have met.