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What Is The Right Age For “The Talk?”

So when is a good time for, “the talk?” Recently, I was forced to answer questions about you got it, sex. Normally I would have no problem answering these questions, but it caught me off guard. My oldest never really asked me about sex, but I know he knows enough to be smart at least from a biological and clinical standpoint. I have talked to him by giving out unsolicited advice but he just blushes and he doesn’t want to hear about it.

My younger son who is 11 asked me about my first time and how old I was. I was honest without giving details but then added it’s not just about the act, it’s also about emotions. At 11 I was all about Star Wars and trying to fool Mr. MacDonald into believing my homework got lost in the wind, not that.

Of course being safer is at the utmost importance, but along with that comes an instant affection, lust and love after your first time. I was 16 and for a good ten years after I was always wondering what “my first” was up to and where she was in a benign way. That ended when life got busier with babies, marriage and responsibilities but in my pockets in life of being single I often wondered. So the point being; you need be able to handle it.

Sometimes you end up living with that person, “your first” and or marrying them but I would guess in most cases like youth, that relationship will fade too either by breakup or it will get broken apart by going to different colleges, job offer, etc.

Lastly I told him to wait until he finds the right person. Knowing as I uttered this cliche advice it may not really be the right person, but my point was don’t play a game with girls and try and bust out a high score because later in life, when your fiancee asks you how many people you’ve been with and you say 100, she may just walk away. (No I haven’t been with 100, nowhere even close)

And lastly, I told him even with protection you still can get someone pregnant. Yes the likely hood is very slim but nothing is absolutely full-proof. Condoms have ripped before and will happen again to someone. The other part of this is there is the aspect of diseases but I’ll wait until some other day to talk to him about that.

These thoughts are all just my opinions more or less based upon my own experiences as an adult with a somewhat active teen life.

 

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