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White House Rejects Petition to Build Death Star


The White House’s ‘We The People’ website, which allows citizens to petition the Obama administration to take action on issues facing the nation, has been in the news a lot lately.

But perhaps no petition has gotten as much attention as the one that requested the government to secure the funds and resources needed to build a Dearth Star. Not surprisingly, the Death Star petition quickly garnered the 25,000 E-signatures needed for an official review by the White House. And, also not surprisingly, the White House has now officially rebuffed it.

Paul Shawcross, chief of the Science and Space Branch of the Office of Management and Budget, was the one tasked with giving the ‘Star Wars’ fanboys and girls the bad news. He did so with a three bullet-point list as to why the Death Star is a bad idea:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

While we have some issues with the first two points — particularly in these days of platinum trillion dollar coins — we have to say the logic of Mr. Shawcross’s final point is pretty darn irrefutable. If only the Emperor had such a wise adviser.

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