Was it just me or was that a LONG six months we just endured. Endured is to suffer patiently and that is exactly how I feel. I had been keeping a running little tally of how things really went off the rails from March on.  I hear the stories of what other have had to endure with health issues, issues of life and death, job loss, losing businesses and I know I am not alone. And I know I am lucky…but still it has been hard for me.

March started out with losing the friendship of my best friend. It is a long story I will not get into but that that loss hit me hard. The person I talked to multiple times a day was no longer there and was out there just living their own life. Emotionally I was empty and alone. To add to that I was physically alone! Just me and the dog. At first, I could not really go anywhere or do anything to distract myself expect for our walks and there is nothing like a walk in the woods to get a girl thinking!  I did not want to think…I wanted distraction. So for that I say THANK YOU TIGER KING and Audible.

But through all of this I have been worried about the impact of COVID-19.  I did have family who did have it.  Two were younger and recovered.  One did not recover and died in the hospital.  He had prior health issues but it was the virus that caused him to decline and pass away. I want to stay healthy and those I am around I want to be healthy.

At the start of this I also had been working with a finical advisor talking about retirement planning. So having to go on-line to get my info for my 401k and Roth accounts was painful.  I try not to look but I know I have many years before retirement age and time for those (fingers crossed) to come back and grow.  But it hurts to see the graph trending down knowing that is really dollars lost.

Oh there was other stuff…I know that for part of our shutdown the earth in certain ways did some healing but now we (myself included) have been using so many disposable, single use plastic things.  Multiply that by millions of us and that is a lot of trash. The weather was wacky without May show and June frost. The protesting over the reopening (or lack of) reopening plans.  Then the death of George Floyd and the protests, but it was the rioting that I found exceptionally distressing.  States reopening’s seems to be tied to an increase of cases in some parts of the county.  Gees...there were reports of murder hornets…but they even seemed to realize this was too much and were out of here quickly.  I mean really, when murder hornets seem quaint something is out of balance.

So July, it has been only a few days and so far, things seem to be a bit calmer. That is good for my soul.

I don’t mean to sound so much like a brat.  I have been VERY LUCKY.  I did not face unemployment and could work from home much of the time. I have my health and I have been able to get out most every day and enjoy nature. I have ShadowDog.

But the biggest thing I did was totally for myself but made a difference in the community.  I was able to volunteer to help pack Meals On Wheels. It was the perfect antidote for my fears and sadness. It took me out of self and my life. I was making a difference. I was seeing other people. It was my lifeline.

Fingers crossed as we move forward.  If things with COVID-19 take a turn for the worse this fall all I can say is at least we all have some working knowledge of how to care our universe.

Stay strong my friends and it is OK to feel your feels and have bad days too, just don’t get stuck in the bad.

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