Woman Shocked After Discovering Boyfriend’s Ex Secretly Had Baby, Found Out via LinkedIn
A woman is seeking advice on parenting forum Mumsnet after her boyfriend's ex contacted him via LinkedIn to tell him she had his baby.
The woman has been dating her boyfriend for seven months. While she really likes him, she is struggling with the idea of him having a child with a past partner.
The woman explained that her boyfriend and his ex's relationship "ended badly," to the point where they "blocked each other" on all forms of communication.
"They broke up because in his words, they had nothing in common, she was talking to other guys, she’s not ambitious and is happy with a mediocre life (which he definitely isn’t and I’m not either) and she had another child. I’m sure there were negative points on his side too but I only have his side," she shared.
Up until recently, the man hadn't heard from his ex until she suddenly reached out to him via LinkedIn.
"Last week the ex got in contact with him via LinkedIn to let him know she’s having a baby and it’s his. He had all of a week to come to terms with it and she was born last Sunday. He wants to be as involved as possible and is willing to support her. He still loves me and he still wants our life and future together," the woman wrote via Mumsnet, adding that her boyfriend plans to do a DNA test to make sure the child is truly his.
The woman admitted she feels "jealous" about having to possibly share her boyfriend with someone else.
"He's been very reassuring so that’s something but I can’t help it. And I don’t want to end up resenting anyone. It's not the issue of him having a child. I’ve dated guys before with kids. It’s because it’s so fresh and I have no idea where they stand with each other," she wrote, adding that she worries about his ex winning him back now that she's the mother of his child.
"They could be this happy family unit. I’ve never been insecure before this but this has really thrown me. I love him more than anything and I want us to work but I hate how I feel," she concluded.
Users tried to comfort the woman in the comments section.
"Jealousy/envy is a completely understandable feeling, don’t beat yourself up for it. One day at a time. Do the DNA test and go from there. You may decide this is too difficult, but don’t decide right now," one person wrote.
"Wait for the DNA test, if the baby is his you'll need to decide if your relationship is enough that you're willing to accept him having a baby with an ex he had a bad relationship with and all the hassle that can bring," someone else advised.
"I would wait for the DNA test and see how you feel. I think a big part of it is the character of the ex. If she is an easy parent to co-parent with I would be more open minded. I wouldn't date a man with kids if his ex was difficult, too much drama," another commented.