funny story

I know that what you're probably thinking is that I'm the world's worst dad. I mean, how do you let your infant eat pieces of your Christmas tree?

Just one time I would like to go on a camping trip where I don't break something or spill my family's liquefied feces all over the ground.

I can drive anything. Literally, anything. I have piloted boats of many sizes, 18-wheelers, heavy construction equipment and even airplanes!