Cameron Simcik

Funerals are like those Lifetime movie marathons our women watch -- we hate them so much that a sturdy kick in the balls would be better than sitting through one. Unless of course said funeral is amped up with a couple of funeral strippers, in which case, awesome. Other than that, what else could possibly make such a depressing and sappy crap fest more bearable? How about not actually being dead?

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We love our parents; we really do. It's just that during those early years, they can seem like the most embarrassing people on the planet. It's tough enough growing up (kudos to you if you can read the word "puberty" without wincing) without lame-o parents humiliating you, but when it comes to two parents in Wisconsin, we have to admit they've surpassed "embarrassing" and jumped straight to "awesome."

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Is it just us, or are babies working to ruin their innocent and adorable reputations? Sticking forks in VCRs or dumping spaghetti sauce all over the dog used to be cute, but now it's just... who are we kidding -- it's still cute! No matter what they do , wee ones can't help making us kid-loving softies, even if said kid rocks a mighty stink-face.

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Few things are most satisfying than pulling off a really, really good prank. We're talking about the scare-your-pants-off kind that leaves our unsuspecting little siblings and friends falling victim to tons of spazzing out and the occasional tear or two. Basically, it's the best kind of mean joke around, but it's all in good fun!

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A few weeks back, a tiny baby burrito kicked off our craving for kids dressed in food costumes. (Not for actual baby. We're not zombies or anything.) It’s such a simple concept, yet it yields such hilarious results. Talk about Halloween genius at its finest. Luckily, we can continue laughing and aww-ing over miniature tasty attire, thanks to the ‘Babies in Food Costumes’ Tumblr.

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America’s obsession with ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ is one of those weird things we just have to accept and (willingly) join in witnessing the ridiculous hilarity. Luckily for us, Alana and Mama June Thompson have been on a slew of news-related shows recently, and in true sassy fashion, the six-year-old has always brought crazy antics along with her.

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We’re self-proclaimed Halloween geeks. But honestly, how can you not be? There are so many ways to celebrate the holiday that by the time October 31st rolls around, our entire lives are defined by creepy stuff and ridiculous garb. Our pets aren’t big fans of the festive takeover, but that’s never stopped us from dressing them up as a turkey dog!

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There are two things we know for sure about puppies: they’re unpredictably hilarious and sometimes have adorably strange antics. Remember our favorite dogs going to town on peanut butter? That’s the kind of silly stuff we love.

Well canine fans of all ages, we’ve discovered dogs have yet another highly underrated quirk, and it comes in the form of shoes.

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As much as we love babies, there are times when they can be pure sources of terror. Unbearably adorable, charming, way-too-cute-to-get-mad at sources of terror, but terror-inducing nonetheless. In all honestly, we’re a little jealous these miniature munchkins can get away with virtually anything. If we stuck jelly beans up our nose or took it upon ourselves to redecorate the kitchen walls with Crayola, we’d be deemed citizens of Crazy Town, population: One.

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As true gentleman, there are a few things we’ll never do. These include turning down an opportunity to receive a yoga boner and picking a fight with a grandma. Chivalry is dead these days, so it’s our duty to bring that crap back. While feasting our eyes upon yoga butt will never go out of style, Granny’s the one switching things up recently; Khandace Cossit has got some major beef, and she’s looking for a fight.

Honestly, how scary can a 56-year-old from Sandston, Virginia be? Answer: very.

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