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‘Glee’ Recap: ‘Puppet Master’

'Glee' 5x07
FOX

On tonight’s episode of ‘Glee,’ which says to hell with Turkey Day, the cast sing and dance with puppet doppelgangers of themselves.

In the glee room, Blaine (Darren Criss) is trying to lead the New Directions into picking songs for Nationals, but his idea to do an acapella number is met with opposition by an angry group who thinks he came on too strong.

His fiance Kurt (Chris Colfer) isn’t faring much better with his band, Pamela Lansbury, who don’t like the first gig he booked for them at NYADA’s piano bar. Trying to convince them he’s right, Kurt explains his vision of them performing Madonna‘s ‘Into the Groove’ at the venue.

Sue (Jane Lynch) is in a meeting to see if she should become the permanent principal. After being told a decision will be made in a week, she is invited out for a beer by the school superintendent who says he’s looking for one of the guys to hang out with. Upset by this suggestion that she’s masculine, Sue reminisces about how she got her trademark tracksuit: specifically when the outfit earned her fear and respect from the students.

After Kurt suggests that Blaine shouldn’t come off as a puppet master to his fellow glee club members, Blaine has a hallucinogenic dream in the choir room that the New Directions are puppets — at which point he and the Blaine-loving puppets sing ‘You’re My Best Friend’ by Queen.

His trip into fantasy land is quickly broken when he wakes up in the real world being yelled at by the New Directions, who are upset that he didn’t participate at all during their meeting — most likely because he was in la la land.

Jake (Jacob Artist) is working on dance moves with the Cheerios when it quickly becomes obvious that he’s sleeping with all of them, something which upsets mean girl Bree (Erinn Westbrook).

Later, at the suggestion of Blaine, Jake sits in the back of the choir room and has a vivid hallucination that he’s in a music video with Marley and Bree, performing a mash-up of Janet Jackson‘s ‘Nasty/Rhythm Nation.’

Meanwhile, Blaine has created a puppet of Kurt in his arts and crafts senior elective. He’s walking through the halls talking to it when Sue (in heels, at the suggestion of Becky, to make herself more feminine) falls in front of him. Worried that a crazed student talking to a puppet will make her look bad at her evaluation she takes away the Kurt puppet.

Will (Matthew Morrison) tries to help Sue with her masculinity by telling her about Ginger Rogers, a woman who could do everything her dancing partner Fred Astaire could, but backwards and in heels. Will says he will teach her how to do the same if she gives him money for glee club outfits. She refuses, but sitting in the back of the room where the kids are hallucinating, Sue has a dream that she’s dancing with Will as Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire while singing ‘Cheek to Cheek.’

Bree confronts Jake and tells him she’s pregnant with his baby and wants him to go with her to the doctor. DUN DUN DUN!

Meanwhile, Blaine sneaks into Sue’s office to steal his Kurt puppet, but he is caught by Sue who gives him detention. This is a decision which upsets him because he had planned to see Kurt’s first show in New York. Blaine tries to explain the situation to Kurt, but he freaks out saying he’s a flesh and blood human and not a plaything. Or, you know, a puppet.

As if Kurt’s evening couldn’t be any worse, the only man who arrives to see the band Pamela Lansbury is a guy convinced Angela Lansbury is performing.

In detention, Blaine hallucinates that Jake and Becky (Lauren Potter) are puppets who tell him everything he wants to hear, but he is quickly woken up by real life Jake who says he has to leave.

When Jake meets up with Bree she says everything is OK because she got her period. She then tells him that as long as he keeps sleeping around he will never be a respectable person but rather a father to multiple children with different partners. Bree then orders him to leave her alone because he’s “toxic.”

Sue calls Unique (Alex Newell) to help her with her problem, asking him to make her look more like a woman. With her new makeover in place, Sue has her evaluation and the superintendent apologizes for overlooking her feminine side.

Inside the choir room, former principal Figgins (Iqbal Theba) shows the school board the gas leak in the room that has been causing the kids to hallucinate. Sue admits she already fixed the problem and cuts Figgins’ pay because as a janitor, it was his problem. The group then tells Sue she is the permanent principal they need. Armed with confidence, she asks the superintendent out on a date but he awkwardly declines.

Even though there is no gas leak anymore, Blaine is still talking to puppets. Thankfully, the real Tina interrupts his conference with puppet Tina to offer him a lead during Nationals — specifically because the group agreed they were being too hard on him.

Jake, shaken by Bree’s talk with him, attempts to ask Marley out again, but she admits that since he cheated on her she no longer feels the way about him that she used to.

Pamela Lansbury gets good news from Kurt who says their second gig will be at the Williamsburg Music Hall thanks to the one guy who sat through their last performance. He has connections. A package then arrives from Blaine as an apology for missing their first show: puppets of each member of the band.

After saying sorry to the group for his behavior, Blaine gifts the New Directions with their puppet selves (he’s been busy) and everyone performs Ylvis’ ‘The Fox.’

Make sure to tune in next week for the show’s Christmas themed fall finale. Puppets need not apply.

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