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Here Are Some Things That Might Be in Lindsay Lohan’s Storage Locker

Lindsay Lohan
Splash News

As you guys are probably aware, Lindsay Lohan is broke and so far behind on her storage locker rent that it’s set to be auctioned off later this month.

Obviously we’re curious about what’s in that thing, and we’ve got some ideas.

Poor Lindsay. If you’ve seen ‘Mean Girls’ and you’re a fan (you have and you totally are), you’ve been hoping she’d get her act together eventually. But she hasn’t, so now she’s in some serious financial straits — the IRS has frozen her accounts, she’s selling her clothes, and even a $100,000 gift from Charlie Sheen hasn’t made much of a dent.

Which brings us to that storage locker. Since she’s months behind in rental payments, it’ll reportedly hit the auction block before the end of the year. Insiders say it contains designer clothes, family heirlooms and other relatively mundane things, but you know that’s not all.

So what do you think is in there, anyway? We have a few ideas:

  • A script treatment for ‘Mean Girls 2,’ starring Tara Reid as Regina George, in which Cady Heron returns to high school to be a guidance counselor and falls in love with that guy from ‘Vampire Diaries.’ Number of times the word “like” is used: 349
  • Every season of ‘Full House’ on DVD.
  • A quilt her grandmother made with her face sewn onto a giant star that says “Shoot for the stars!”
  • 80 boxes of Kombucha pomegranate raspberry tea, purchased in bulk.
  • A collection of ashtrays from every city she’s visited — so like, five.
  • A lock of Tina Fey‘s hair.
  • An autographed photo of Tyra Banks that reads, “If at first you don’t succeed, Tyra again.”
  • Two getaway cars.
  • A passport with the name Svetlana Swarovski, for her secret dream to escape to Russia to start her life over as a high-paid escort for visiting diplomats.
  • Another Lohan sister.
  • A mix of her unreleased recordings under the name LiLo Rider, which she hopes to sell to the Japanese.
  • Samantha Ronson’s white t-shirts.
  • A letter declaring her the president of the Jaleel White fan club.
  • A vision board featuring photos from the movie ‘Showgirls,’ Shetland ponies, Lisa Frank stickers, and Starbucks gift cards.

Only time will tell.

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