dumb celebrities

This frequently dour actress is going to have a rough career. As she explained, "I don't want to make movies for kids, and I don't want to make movies for adults either."

This heavily eye-lined young singer likes her musical genres to have very strict boundaries. As she griped, "People think pop is rock, and the lines are getting blurred ... Now Rihanna is wearing f---ing leather jackets, and it's really annoying."

This actor is so ready for the zombie apocalypse that he once assumed it was already here. As he explained, "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

Psh, that Van Gogh guy is the Nic Cage of painting. This comedian once said, "I don't care if people think I am an overactor ... People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter."

Pirating is really hard, you guys. Almost as hard as verb conjugations. This glitter-covered singer once said, "I've doven. Doven? Diven? ... I'm pretty much a pirate."

Ladies and gentleman, remember this former VP of the United States? He once puzzled, "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

Failure is not an option -- unless it's school we're talking about. This rapper admitted, "I failed ninth grade three times, but I don't think it was necessarily 'cause I'm stupid."

Someone took the United States Secretary of the Interior title a little too literally, telling that person, "You've done a nice job decorating the White House."

Not helping with those pesky "Tom Cruise is gay" rumors, this actor once said, "Tom has - we all have - the right to practice how we feel... Don't judge someone until they have tossed your salad."

Either this British frontman has never changed a diaper or he's never washed a dish. He once opined, "Men should always change diapers... It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes."

Despite currently being childless, this director with a fondness for blowing things up has big parenting plans, saying, "When I have a son, I'm going to have him get seduced by an older woman. It's a great way for a guy to learn."

This actress thinks going on a murderous rampage is one of the most loving things someone can do. She once admitted, "My dream role would probably be a psycho killer... it's incredibly romantic."

Sorry paramedics, you are obsolete. This believer in a made-up religion mused, "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help."

Sometimes someone says something so dumb that there are no words, just ellipses. For example, when this actress claimed, "I've been noticing gravity since I was very young," the world said, "..."

Mmmm, British cuisine is the best. Lasagna, pizza, tiramisu ... we could go on and on. This supermodel once wrongly said, "I love England, especially the food. There's nothing I like more than a lovely bowl of pasta."