When Martha Stewart was on the 'Today' show on Monday, April 29, she revealed that she'd created a Match.com account -- because the only man in her life right now is Snoop Lion.
Now the details of the profile have emerged, and they're pretty much exactly what you'd expect.
Crafty domestic goddess Martha Stewart has inked a deal with JCPenney that will basically give her a monopoly on the major retailer and simultaneously ban Oprah and Rosie O'Donnell from doing business with the chain -- and that's just for starters.
Do not pass the crocheted tea-cozy replica of Go. Do not collect 200 Michael's coupons.
Martha Stewart has been making us sick for years with her constant reminders of what inferior domestic goddesses we are. So maybe it was karma in action when the DIY guru got pretty sick herself this Thanksgiving -- with a nasty case of salmonella.