OH…Mother’s Day.  For me, it can be a bit more painful than being alone on Valentine’s Day.  I wanted kids and for a number of reasons, I never became a mother.

I had always imagined my life as being in a family with a few kids and being a great mom.  I am sure I would have been a great mom.  Honestly, it is one of the few things I am confident about.  But it is one of the few things I have not been able to do.

There are a few reasons for this some of them were in my control some of them not.

First of all, I wanted to do with a partner.  I wanted that sort of ideal of two parents and the kiddos.  That did not happen in my marriage.  After my divorce, I assumed I would remarry at some point and have another shot.  It has been over 15 years since my divorce and I did not find that person to make a family with. I have watched single parents. Let’s face it, being a parent is a J-O-B!  Doing it alone…that makes you Supermom or Superdad.  This was the conscious decision I made, not wanting to do it alone.  In hind sight, I don’t know.  Maybe I should have.

What I have learned recently, IF I had pursued having a baby earlier in life, I would have learned I have some ‘girly’ issues that might have made that harder.  If I has decided to go on that path at that time, those things could have been addressed and overcome.  Such is life.

So now, ShadowDog and CoffeeDog before him, are the focus of all my 'motherly' devotion.  CoffeeDog always seemed to love it, ShadowDog not so much. BUT he accepts my motherly attention.

So, for all of you have had the joy of being a mother...embrace and enjoy every second of it! You are helping to make the world a better place.

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