There’s Already a New Version of ‘Cats’ in Theaters
So Cats. Let’s start with the good news.
Um ... well ... let’s see here. Oh, I know! They didn’t accidentally put a bunch of dogs in Cats. It is definitively about some cats doing cat stuff.
Beyond that, yeah, everything else is bad news for Cats, the long-awaited adaptation of the extremely popular and slightly weird Broadway musical about a group of cats who all want to be the one cat who gets killed and ascends to heaven and gets a new life at the jellicle ball. This plot did phenomenally well on Broadway for years and years. If I had to bet, though, I do not expect the movie version of Cats, directed by Tom Hooper, to last more than a fraction of that time in movie theaters. In its opening weekend, the film grossed just $6.5 million. That’s not for Friday; that’s for the whole weekend. According to Box Office Mojo, that ranks among the top 20 worst openings ever for a film playing in more than 3,000 theaters.
But wait! There’s more! As it turns out, the version of Cats that opened in theaters last Friday contained screwups which were then corrected over the weekend when Universal sent out a revised DCP of the film that supposedly contained “improved visual effects.“
The movie had been out for like a day! What could they possibly improve? Well, funny you should ask...
Yes, the movie was made on such a tight deadline that stuff like Judi Dench’s human hand and wedding ring snuck through. Most theaters should have the “corrected” version of the movie by now. To which I say: #RereleaseTheJudiDenchHumanHandCut. Or let’s jump to the moment when Cats becomes the biggest midnight movie since The Room and every screening looks like this:
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