Here’s How A Perfectly Normal Pretzel Almost Made Me Hurl This Weekend

Hey friends, Matt James here, and if you happened to miss this story as told on our show this morning, allow me to give you a brief, yet descriptive recount of the events that unfolded in the town of Madison, Maine over the weekend.

It was like any other beautiful Sunday afternoon in Maine when our family piled into the truck and headed to my sister's house in Mad-town to celebrate our nephew Max and his 6th birthday. How exciting!

After stopping to get a gift on the way up, because who actually does it in advance, we made our way up to their house and set up our camp chairs on the back lawn while the children played on the swing set.

As I sat, engaging in conversation, sipping a silver bullet and watching the Pats on my phone, the snack table made its way down to the back yard. Don't mind if I do considering I am an avid fan of snacks.

There were tasty tortilla chips, cheese, wheat thins and a bowl of pretzels. I ate my weight in cheddar cheese and crackers before wondering why these pretzels were so popular. Now, I'm not anti-pretzel, but these things were going like gangbusters. Side note, what does gangbusters mean?

Anyway, I asked my wife and sister what the deal with the pretzel popularity was. Keri (my wife) said she wasn't sure. My sister on the other hand, who knows I literally barf when I try new foods (ARFID), grabbed a pretzel and shoved it in my mouth.

Without thinking, because I thought it was a regular pretzel, I began chewing up the popular snack. It only took about a second for me to realize that something wasn't right. Not only was it not a normal pretzel, it was coated in MULTIPLE flavors that I HATE.

Not only did the P-zel have a garlic coating, it also had a ranch dust on it. I immediately spit this snack out and had to stand frozen for at least 60 seconds as the knot in my stomach tightened. I had to mentally force myself not to upchuck in front of my in-laws and all these kids.

Finally I was able to slowly begin moving again and quickly rinsed my mouth out with my water. It was quite the scene to be honest with you. So, when I tell you that trying certain foods and flavors can literally make me vom on the spot- I mean it!

Happy snacking, friends.