A Maine Eulogy: Rest in Peace My Sweet Bella May

It was a weekend that started out much like any other at the James household is the small and charming town of Windsor, Maine.

The birds were chirping, the kids were playing and I was lounging around dreaming about the days of old. It was Friday evening, an evening that will be forever engrained into my lobes. The Celtics were going to be playing game 6 against the Knicks, and I was in charge of snacks.

Following a quick trip to our local Dollar General, I returned home with frozen chicken fritters and a bag of Sonic French fries. I was determined to have crispy, piping hot snacks for the evening basketball game.

As I always do, I grabbed Bella, my air fryer, and got her all plugged in and ready to go. A larger-than-average air fryer with an 8 quart capacity, Bella has been my ride or fry for as long as I can remember. However, little did I know, she was fading fast.

At first she fired right up and preheated to the desired 400 degrees, though that's about where the normalcy ended. As I dumped the fritters into the giant basket and closed it back up, the unthinkable happened. Bella tripped our kitchen breaker. Never before had this happened.

I quickly bellowed for my hot wife to go downstairs and flip the switch. When she did, Bella May purred back to life, but only for mere moments. It happened a second and final time. Bella tripped again, but this time after resetting the breaker, she didn't come back.

The night continued into a more intense nightmare as the Celtics were getting pummeled by New York, all the while my dear Bella sat lifeless on the island. I wasn't sure I'd ever wake up from this.

The next morning I knew the Augusta Best Buy would be opening at 10a sharp. I carefully planned my arrival for 9:59 AM. At this point, if you've read this far, you should know that I called my Air Fryer 'Bella' because that was her brand name. It literally said 'Bella' on the basket.

Anyways, after arriving at the double B, I headed in to the appliance section to begin my search for a new AF. It didn't take long until I was surrounded by the shiniest and prettiest batch of Bellas I had ever seen. And, what's more? There was a new Bella Pro Series with a touch screen.

Certainly nothing could get me over the ill-timed demise of my previous Bella, though this seemed like a good start. The Bella pro was on sale for $61 bucks so without hesitation I scooped a box off the shelf and headed for checkout.

When I got home, I immediately unboxed Bella The II and got her all set up in her new home next to Kyle the toaster. While I was doing this, I couldn't help but notice the tragic remains of Bella The OG.

I knew I had to give her the respect she deserved. So I took the old Bella and gently placed her in the box that new Bella had come in. I carefully taped the lid closed and placed her in the garage with all the other boxes my hot wife chucks out there.

Later that night, we gathered around the new air fryer while we laughed and told stories of the old one. We crisped up some Dino Nuggets and took turns biting the heads off of Velociraptors while chewing through the tears.

I love you, Bella May. I hope your next life is as crispy as the first.