Third Wheel is a Part Jon James Plays Well + Often

Marie Anne works all night so, when I'm ready to do something, she's often times sleeping or getting ready for work. It was like this all through the kids' childhood and is that way again now that the kids are adults. But now, instead of the kids going with me like they did when they were little, they let me tag along with them!

I was feeling like a China Dine-ah dinner tonight. Michelle and her boyfriend Jeremy were planning to go so I thought this was perfect! Surely my little girl won't mind me joining them for dinner. I know that's what I wanted when I went on a date with a girl....my dad hanging out with us.

It wouldn't be so bad, probably, if I didn't start yelling out random words and embarrassing her. As we sat at the counter I started hollering, "cornhlio, napolio, suppolio, ho-holio."

"Dad, stop!" she said.

But I didn't.

Pretty soon I won't even get invited to sit with my family. It's bad enough being a third wheel but being vanquished from the family table would really hurt. But I'd still embarrass them by yelling things from across the restaurant. Things like, "my kids don't love me anymore...they make me sit all by myself so I don't hurt their image."

Hey, if I have to be a third wheel, I might as well get a reaction. Even if the end result is being ostracized by my own family.

Hey, it's how I roll!