‘Father’s Day’ Thoughts From a Father Raised By a Single Mother

I hope fathers all over have the grandest of days in celebration. I also hope most who read this find you "in good" with your Dad. Father's Day may be a hard day for some. Maybe your father passed away recently and Father's Day bring tears. Father's Day may be tough because you have a strained relationship with your father and the day brings a roller coaster of emotions. Maybe Father's Day is a day of confusion as your father may have been non-insistent in your life.

I was raised by a single Mother, and a strong one at that. She played the roll of both parents, as best she could, and was always there for me and my sister. I think looking back, that it was probably for the best, being raised by just Mom, as my parents weren't great as a couple. They divorced when I was six or seven. Mom was great, but I couldn't go to her about everything growing up. Now, the question is how to be a father without having one growing up.

For me it's been about the confidence in my abilities and not having the male support. This may not matter to some, but it does a little to me. As a kid, and a teen, I didn't get the male bonding. I didn't get the basics in flirting with girls or any other traditional fatherly type stuff.  I did, however, turn out okay. Anyway, I think I did.

In the end I learned how ask a girl out, talk smack and burp on my own just fine. Not too over dramatize, but  I'm sure a man raising children after growing up with a father in their life, has doubts on how to be a father as well.

I came to the realization that my relationship with Dad was never going to be the best, but in his last weeks, I did kind of reconcile my issues with him and I'm more or less at peace with everything.

My next step is to retrain my thinking and to not think of the word "father" as a negative word. Rationally I know the vast majority of fathers are supportive, nurturing and bring their children joy, whether they are in their children's lives everyday or not. I just have to, deep down, understand that. I really need to be okay with the word "father" and not have the first thought come to my mind of a deadbeat.

I try to be the best father I can by being there if my kids want help, have questions or want to know about the bigger things in life, such as world events, drugs and yes even answer questions about sex. I answer the best way I know how. My children adore me, although at times laying down the law can be tough, emotionally, on me and them. Lynn will take care of answering those more personal questions when Vikki asks in many, many, years.

So anyway, enough about me. I'll enjoy whatever my three have planned for me, and I really hope you, if you're a father, your husband or your father, have a great Dad's Day.