Hooks in The Leg, Phones in The Lake: Matt’s Weekend Camping Fiasco
I guess you could say it was a bit of an unplanned adventure that happened over the long weekend. Not the kind that leaves you feeling like a hero that saved all of humankind, but the type that leaves you feeling like the defeated villain at the end while the world cheers for your misfortune.
Allow me to make a long story longer for you. It all started this weekend when we headed out to Duck Puddle Campground in Nobleboro to celebrate the long weekend with our friends. We headed out with the Tillsons, Kasprzaks, Blais' and us, the James family. Oh, and all 537 of our kids.
The camping weekend began much like they all do- getting set up, hanging at the playground with the kids and cracking a couple cold ones for some evening corn hole games. However, things quickly took a painful, watery turn on our last night at camp.
The guys had all gone up to the playground with the kids (ours were asleep) and the girls had headed down to the docks to watch the sunset. Well, I'm a bit of a woman myself, so I decided to go down and catch the last few minutes of sunlight with the sexy mamas. That's where things really got weird.
As we were sitting on the dock doing our lady gossip, I turned to put a leg over the dock and when I did, I kicked my friggin' iPhone X off into the water. I quickly hopped up and peered over the edge to see if it was within reach. Ya know, maybe the water isn't that deep out here on the boat slips and I can just reach down and grab it. Nope- it's like eight feet deep here..at least.
After a few minutes I had returned with my LED work-light so I could stick it in the surface of the lake and try and beam my phone with it. Even though my phone is (supposed to be) waterproof, it was immediately going to voicemail. Could also be because it had no service underwater.
As we were shining the murky lake floor, we see it. The slight reflection of the cameras on the back of the phone, and a piece of my 92 Moose pop socket. It was all the way at the bottom, already half consumed by the muddy yucky botton of Pemaquid Pond. There just happened to be a boat tied up at the dock next to us. Certainly they wouldn't mind if I hopped in and helped myself to whatever phone retrieval tools I might need, right? I grabbed two paddles and a fishing pole. Let's see what I can do with these!
After several minutes of trying to pinch my phone between the paddles, I had managed to push my phone further away again. At this point, I though I might as well bite the bullet and jump into the frigid water and attempt to swim down for it. Mind you, aside from my LED light down at the dock, it was completely dark out.
Carolyn Blais, my dear friend and camping ninja, decided to use the fishing pole I had retrieved from the random boat to stick down into the water to kind of 'mark' where we had last seen my phone so I had some kind of a physical way-point as I swam down. Well, as she was getting ready to slide the pole into the water, she somehow managed to hook herself in the back of the leg with the lure that was still attached. Oopsies. As she tugged at the rod to free herself it only dug the barb deeper.
After some expletives, crying, laughing and overall reaction of shock to the situation that was developing on the dock, I got back into the mystery boat and got a Leatherman from the tackle box. At this point, her husband Johhny had heard the commotion and come down to the dock to see what the heck was going on. I'm sure he wasn't surprised at all the misfortune that had stricken us, soley because I was involved. You see, bad luck tends to follow me around Mary and her little lamb style.
Anyway, Johnny got the hook out of Carolyn's leg after a couple good yanks and we were back at square one. I was already shirtless so I hopped into the freezing water to see if I could even stand up. Nope. It was way too deep. And, I quickly decided that trying to swim down in the pitch black water probably wouldn't result in me finding my black phone. Also, there could have been dock monsters that snatched me and brought me down to their secret underwater lair. I couldn't have that- so out of the water I got.
We went back to camp, Carolyn bleeding and me freezing, and proceeded to laugh our chilly, bloody asses off all evening long about what had happened. It really was a one-way ticket on the hot-mess express- but at least there was bar service.
The next day, I went to the main office at Duck Puddle campground and the hooked me up with a couple tools to stick down into the water to see if I could snag the phone. At this point I'm pretty sure it's ruined, so getting it back isn't that big of a deal anymore, but I wanted to give it the old college try. I stuck a post hole digger down as far as I could until I hit the soft bottom where we had last known my phone to be. I clamped it shut and started to raise it up, up, up! As the end of the implement surfaced out of the phone-eating pond, there it was. My phone, and a bunch of pond mud, was trapped inside the digger. As I slowly began swinging it back over towards the dock, it happened. The phone slipped out of the end and fell back into the water. About 8 inches from safety and it was gone again.
At this point I was over it. I didn't want to get wet again swimming for it in the daylight, and the majority of the people I call and text were with me anyway. Pemaquid Pond can keep my phone. None of these things took away from the fact that we had (as always) an amazing time camping with our friends. And I look at the bright side, I get to have a new phone (again).
We'll see what our next trip in two weeks at Beaver Brook brings. I'll keep you posted. Until then, check out some of the hundreds of photos that were taken over the weekend.
Memorial Day Camping, 2020