How a Targeted Facebook Ad Made Me Late for Work
As much as I hate to admit it, targeted ads on social media work. At least for me. I've ended up buying multiple items over the years, there's even a few I haven't regretted buying.
Now some of my biggest insecurities when it comes to my appearance is my hair and my smile. I actually get complimented on my smile quite often, but I always feel like my smile makes me look funny and my teeth are never as pearly white as I'd like.
In recent months I've been getting ads for Blkdiamond. The ads always feature a gorgeous girl brushing her teeth with charcoal. They even do this weird magnification effect on the thumbnail to catch your attention. Charcoal for teeth is a concept I'm familiar with and have attempted myself, but the mess and gritty feeling kept me from being consistent. Then a couple of weeks ago they showed off a new (to me) product. Charcoal Whitening Strips! Here's the actual ad I watched for probably all of 15 seconds before deciding to buy:
I've tried the traditional whtiestrips before and they always left my teeth and gums feeling terrible. Not to mention the strips left a weird taste in my mouth so I never stuck with them. I thought the charcoal strips were the perfect compromise so into my cart they went.
I snagged the box out of my mailbox last night and tossed it aside on my vanity in the bathroom.
I opted to sleep in an extra half hour this morning (damn you, daylight savings!) at the expense of my normal makeup routine. I work in radio. Who cares, right? I've also been struggling with my hair (a long story for another day) and decided to try a new product. I must have been in the mood for new things because I figured I had the perfect amount of time to try these new Blkdiamond strips.
I followed the clearly laid out instructions. I brushed my teeth and applied. Not gonna lie, I was immediately not in love with them. I was used to the Crest Whitestrips and these new ones slipped all around and I worried they wouldn't stay put. Nevertheless, I persisted! I continued with my routine, slowly coming around as I didn't have a nasty chemically taste in my mouth. The new hair product was in and I was feeling good.
Then as I was about to head out the door I went to take the strips off.
The clear part came off with ease, BUT I WAS LEFT WITH BLACK GOOP ALL OVER MY CHOMPERS!
My expression of sheer horror:
I panicked. I'm weird about textures and thick black goo did not feel great in my mouth. So I stood there, mouth agape, looking at myself in the bathroom in horror. My hair was drying funny post-new product too so I was looking like the old hag who yelled "BOO!" and called the princess "The Queen of Garbage" in The Princess Bride. I grabbed the box, baffled, "Is this supposed to happen?!" I fretted. Turns out I neglected to fully read the final step that said I would have to rinse.
Ok, easy enough. I grabbed some water, swished, and...nothing.
I can't stress the consistency enough here. Think about a Gummy Bear or Sweedish Fish you've been chewing or sucking on for a while. Now imagine that being all over your teeth but instead of juicy, fruity goodness it's some black teeth whitener.
I couldn't deal with it being all over my tongue so, I touched it with my finger. Ew. I rubbed and scraped some and decided to go back to swishing with water.
Eventually, my sink became speckled with black dots and my teeth still looked like I had just eaten an entire row of Double Stuff Oreos. (Don't lie, you know that look.) Black chunks between your front teeth are not sexy y'all.
I carried on like that for what seemed like an eternity but thankfully, my mouth was rid of the goo.
I eventually made it out the door with my minimally made-up face, confused hair, and as much as I hate to admit it, maybe whiter teeth. Was it worth it?