Go ahead and file this one away under the weirdest (and grossest) thing you've ever heard. Though despite the crazy title of this story, it is completely and utterly true.

According to Rare.US, Dominica Dearing, a 41 year old woman shopping at Walmart in Ohio, decided to take it upon herself to try and steal some merchandise. Well, because Walmart has some of the best loss prevention staff in the industry, she was caught.

Subsequently she was brought to a small room where she is asked a few questions while the staff waits for the police to arrive. During the questioning the woman became irate, hiked up her dress and began what employees describe as 'projectile pooping' all over the holding room and then the floor at the entrance to the store.

Dearing pleaded guilty to two counts of violating the county’s stay at home order and two counts of larceny. Go ahead and insert your own 'crappy situation' style joke now. They literally write themselves.

You're welcome.

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