My hands are numb, fingers are swollen. I have tennis elbow. My knees are bending incorrectly and I have to do wrist exercises like Kim Kardashian to help her "Selfie-arthritis” and don’t even get me started on my back, 'cuz it's broken.

Want to know when I last washed my hair? So do I.

I’ve ruined all of my clothes, my new fragrance is called “primer” brought to you by "Kilz Paint", it's a new line that I am promoting and my partner is Home Depot.

I will also be happy when I no longer have to grab a bucket of water to flush the toilet.

This is what happens when you are renovating a home, almost down to the studs. No, I’m not talking about a hot gentlemen, I am talking about nails and wood.

My life has been completely flipped upside down and no, I am not filming an HGTV show, But if I were I would call it, “How did mouse poop get in there?”

We closed on our charming fixer-upper back in November. You know how there’s a trick to describe houses for realtors? Like, if somethings small, they’ll describe it as, "charming".

If a house is 88 years old and smells like 88 year old rotting boxer shorts stuffed into the windowsills, well I’m not sure what they would call it, maybe "vintage."

No to mention we have a permanent guest, a ghost.

So with that introduction, let's get into the heart of this story. We bought a house, my wife Nelly and I and that sentence just brought chills to feel-chills.

We both are extremely hard working people. If you teach us to do something, we will do it. Because if you lead a horse to water, if won't pee unless you show it how to. Duh.

I am talking about floors now. Phew, this is going great isn't it? Nelly and I learned how to put floors into our home yesterday and we are so proud that we completed the task. We chose LifeProof flooring and our parents taught us how to install.

Who else is going to do it? The contractor?  I can't get into too much detail because I don't want to get sued but we are pretty much on our own trying to complete this house.

Here's a pro-tip; renovating a house involves trust with the people you work with. This is your home, the place you will leave, not anyone else and I highly suggest that when you are interviewing, you ask for references!

Now that I got that out, we would be utterly lost without our parents, my Mommy, Don, and Joanne. They have been vital to us fixing up this house.

So, we decided to take matters into our own hands to speed up our deadline by taking over much of the manual labor. We are ripping up the floors, breaking down the walls, painting, hammering, removing, fixing, crying, bleeding, and sweating, all over the place.

At night we both, simultaneously fall onto the bed, face down and wake up with paint chips in our hair. So at this point, can't feel my body and my mental state is shifty, I am falling asleep in the shower daily and I forgot to finish the right side of my eye makeup today but we're still winning.

Here is a small gallery I created of us installing our beautiful floors at our new, "charming" and "vintage" home.

I will be updated with many renovation photos soon along with juicy details on what's occurred since we closed!

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