My Open Letter To The Girl Whose Purse I Farted in at a High School Party
Once upon a time, I was mad at a girl. I considered her an enemy and a bully, so this is what I did.
High school is not always fun and it can be awfully hard for those who are self-conscious. Sometimes bullies make you feel like you have to retaliate.
This was the case for me, but I am not in any way telling you that if you are being bullied, that retaliation of any kind is the right thing to do.
It has been 20 years since this happened and I am now after finally ready to tell this story.
There was this one girl in high school that bullied a lot of us other girls. She wasn't nice and she would pick on others for looks or clothes. I myself just stayed away from her, all the while witnessing her wretchedness.
One time when she was displaying her dominance, she yelled at a shy girl in front of everyone in class and at that point I had enough. I knew in that moment I was going to teach her a lesson.
I knew I couldn't physically touch her nor did I want to. And that is just plain wrong. I also knew that I couldn't do anything that would get me disciplined or in jail so I had to think outside of the box. It was time for her to receive her pay out.
What's something bad that you can do to something that they can't see or touch and will keep you safe from discipline?
It was Friday night and I knew this bully would be at the party I was going to.
I knew the time had come for me to avenge my schoolmates. As she walked in, I noticed she had her normal stink-eye, resting B face, and her precious Coach bag on her arm. She always bragged about this bag that her rich daddy gave her.
The night continued on, I stayed away from her and noticed that everyone put their coats and purses in one of the bedrooms and it hit me. I knew exactly what I was going to do. The skies opened and gave me the answer.
I walked into the "coat room" confidently and gave her a super stare as I walked by. She had no idea what was coming.
I found her purse, grabbed it and quietly went into the corner of the room. I unzipped her precious and annoying Coach bag and handed her the biggest pile of Karma.
I farted into her purse.
That's right, I launched an air biscuit in her precious designer bag.
I figured that energy is transient and a fart is the worst kind of energy to spread. I closed the purse right after to keep "my aroma" stuck inside.
Now, I know this is gross, obviously, but it's also something I did 20 years ago. And she deserved every bit of wind horn.
I walked out of the room smiling, like I had achieved something great. All the while knowing that every time she put her snobby lip gloss on, she'd also be adding a little spicy stench into her application.
I am not sorry that I farted into your purse. I hope you have forever carried the "bouquet of my revenge."
Never again have I done this and I won't.
I wanted to share it with you because their are all kinds of ways to deal with bullies.
Their are numerous ways to do this. You can fart in their purse, wallet, car, it's a free country when farts are concerned. Just make sure not to hurt anyone physically!
I have never heard of a law that says you can't do this or anyone criminally charged with "Farting in a Purse."
Exacting retribution isn't always bad. So fart away and walk away with confidence knowing that every time they open their purse, you're essence will forever linger as punishment!