Sometimes when I'm scrolling through the 'Maine news' in the morning I come across things that I assume have to be satirical. Sometimes, thankfully, they are.. while other times, like this time, they're not. Sit back, relax and prepare to be bewildered as I weave an intricate tale of two Maine men, alcohol, a wood chisel, and aggravated assault involving a cheeseburger.

As I was checking out some stories earlier on WGME's website I came across a story with a title that literally made me laugh out loud. Seriously, I was sitting alone in my office at about 4:00 AM and started howling laughing in an otherwise empty building. Now, do I think domestic disputes and someone almost getting stabbed is funny or something we should ever laugh about? Absolutely not. However, I'm just relaying my experience with the story because I'm real and transparent and want to paint the picture of how I stumbled across this.

According to the article at, the incident occurred Friday night (arguably the best night of the week for cheeseburgers) in the small Maine town of Arrowsic. Apparently, a 44-year-old man named Joshua Canonico was fighting with a 23-year-old relative over a cheeseburger. The fight turned physical and Canonico reportedly grabbed a wood chisel and attempted to stab the younger man.

Authorities arrived on the scene and arrested Joshua Canonico and charged him with aggravated assault and, if convicted, could be looking at up to ten years in prison. Authorities also said, not surprisingly, that alcohol was a factor. Minor scratches were the only reported injuries.

No word yet on the condition of the cheeseburger.

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