Augusta’s Big Apple Has Been Robbed…Again
Why in the world are all of the loser criminals in this town so dead-set on robbing the Big Apple (Stone Street)? Is it because they're such losers that they don't have adequate transportation so they have to walk to the places that they wish to rob? "Hey mom, can I get a ride to rob the Big Apple?" Then she says no so you gotta hoof it. Plus, I know we're all thinking it, this guy (or girl but probably guy) needed money for drugs because they're a junkie.
Now I know what you're thinking- you're super-offended because I gender-assumed and addict-assumed. I will publish an apology if I got it wrong when the suspect is caught- which shouldn't take too long, just park a cop at the Big Apple and wait for him to come back.
STOP ROBBING THE BIG APPLE!