Ever since I was a little boy I have always been into anything with an engine. I mean, it got to the point when I was a kid that company would have to lock their vehicles when they came to our house because I would immediately try and get in the driver's seat as soon as they got out. I was like a vehicle vulture.

Another fun fact is that I can drive anything. Literally, anything. I have piloted boats of many sizes, 18-wheelers, heavy construction equipment and even airplanes! Yes, airplanes. So when it comes to a friend of mine getting a new toy, of course I want to tag along!

My buddy Josh and his wife just moved down to our area from Bangor, and now have a much bigger lawn than they had before, so the little push-mower he had just isn't gonna cut it. Fast forward to pulling into Union Farm Equipment, home of the "friendly folks", and they must have thought we were quite a scene. Not 1, not 2, but 3 of us piled out of our friend Johnny's truck to begin the search for the coveted zero-turn mower.

As promised in their ads, we were greeted by a very friendly salesman and the test drive was on. Now, there is a super-funny story about the test drive that involves driving one zero-turn up onto another parked zero-turn monster truck style, but I'm not gonna tell that part nor will I divulge who crashed it.

After a little more perusing, Josh made up his mind and selected the beautiful Kubota ZT that you see in the pictures. I thought that it wouldn't be difficult for me to tag along and just be happy for my friend without also feeling like I needed to have one of these machines, too. Well, I was wrong. Ever since that fateful moment when I took that baby for a spin at Union Farm Equipment, I can't stop thinking about it.

You see, last year my riding lawnmower S'd the B and I ran to Lowe's and bought a push-mower because, well, I'm wicked fat and could use the exercise. It takes me about two hours to mow my whole lawn at a normal pace without interruption. Imagine how much time I could shave off that with the proper equipment!

I called my wife from Union and told her about the killer deals on Kubotas at UFE and waited to see if she would encourage me to buy one while I was there. She didn't. So I didn't.

Literally, after I got home from that trip with the boys I mowed my lawn... with my push mower...all while thinking of what it would be like to be the king of my yard with the wind blowing through my hair(I'm bald) as I take my cutting time from 2 hours to about 16 seconds. Ahh... someday I''ll pull the trigger and join the zero-turn club (that's a real thing), but until then, I'll just be happy with the fact that my push-mower is in fact self propelled and that I haven't collapsed dead in my own yard (yet).

Enjoy you new mower, dink! I mean "Josh".

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